My Hero

Song: My Hero
Artist: Foo Fighters
Album: The Colour & the Shape
Released: May 1997

The drums kick off the song in stadium rocking fashion. The infectious bass line follows to complete the foundation. The guitar tops off the introduction and it's at this point that you know you are about to behold an all time classic. Dave Grohl's transition from legendary drummer to legitimate song writer and front man become fully realized  as he weaves an undeniable melody, shifting from smooth verses to grainy, muscle driven choruses. The song is simple and in my opinion rock at it's very best. My Hero is a song that makes you want to stand up straight, roll  your shoulders back, and dive head long into the maw of life to take on anything it dares throw at you.

My Hero makes my list for two reasons; number one, its freakin' awesome and you can't deny it, number two it is the song that I have designated to represent my father.

My first encounter with this song was while watching Varsity Blues in my freshmen year of high school. Some of you who know how old I am may be amazed by this as that was nearly two years after the song was released. Well what can I say I grew up in Greybull Wyoming where there is not a rock radio station within 100 miles. So that means if it didn't come through word of mouth or from a shot in the dark on ordering a cd through BMG music club, it didn't reach my ears. For those of you unfamiliar with Varsity Blues, it is a movie about high school football, which made the song that much cooler. To be introduced to a song as football players come running out of the tunnel and start cracking heads...well it goes without saying doesn't it? So for a while football is what I associated it with, which was great. Then sometime last year my mom said that she was going to be dividing our old family pics among us kids. I started thinking how cool it would be to put a slide show together highlighting each member of the family, sort of like they do at graduations, with the students. This slide show, would need music. My Hero was the first song I thought of to honor my Dad. He would find the song as nothing more than noise (as is the case with most songs that include any kind of electric guitar) but to the rest of us, I think it would be perfect.

My Father is the greatest example of what it is to be a father, husband, business man, and just a good man, that I can think of. He always gave everything he had (and even more after that) to make sure that all of us were taken care of. He made sure to be to all of our sporting and school events, capture them on film, (even the non competitive, annual Haslem "snow bowl", in negative 13 degree weather), make every holiday and family vacation, or any other event that held value to one of us, memorable and special. My Dad made our youth a conglomeration of adventures and lessons. From summer scuba trips to Oka-Bey lake, to developing legendary paintball reputations, to camping, surprise vacations, scavenger hunts, coyote hunts, wood cutting trips, and a laundry list of other things. Beyond that he taught us through his everyday actions. One thing that stands out was how he worked something like 15 hour days 6 days of the week and then what must have been another 8 on sunday after 5 hours of church meetings, for stretches the exceeded a month at a time. All this at a job he couldn't stand, because the job had to be done right, and it was the job that provided our family with the best medical coverage and standard of living. He hated his bosses, but yet he stayed and didn't just do the job of a good employee. There was a certain standard that he set in his work (whether he liked what he was doing or not) and that standard was damn near perfection. Still even during times when his job was the most taxing he always found a way to make time to attend any event his children were participating in. And he always made time for the Lord, and his church callings. Through it all he gave me a road map to being a man, he gave me a name that I will spend the rest of my life trying to live up to. He "bleeds it out, while the rest of them peter out", and "he's ordinary" to those who don't know him, but to me, he's as good as it gets. He's my hero, hands down.

too alarming now to talk about
take your pictures down
and shake it out
truth or consequence, say it aloud
use that evidence race it around

Chorus:
there goes my hero
watch him as he goes
there goes my hero
he's ordinary

don't the best of them bleed it out
while the rest of them peter out
truth or consequence, say it aloud
use that evidence race it around

(chorus)

kudos my hero
leaving all the best
you know my hero
the one that's all

Far Behind

Song: Far Behind
Artist: Candlebox
Album: Candlebox
Released: July 1993

 Far Behind makes this list for a couple reasons I suppose. I think the biggest reason, besides it being an absolute classic, is that it reminds me of my siblings. None of them committed suicide, as the lyrics suggest, thankfully but they all liked it. I remember first seeing the cover on a cassette tape in my oldest sister's car (which I would later drive and total, ha ha) which, as was family tradition, equipped with a rockin' system. It was, for me anyway, that period when hair bands were being replaced by grunge bands. When I was about 7 I was so into bands like Def Leopard, Firehouse, Warrant, and Metallica. Metallica is not and never was a hair band, I don't care what you say, they were an 80's band yest but if you have ears you can hear, they sound nothing like the other bands who sporting long hair. That's another story entirely though. It all changed so quickly when my sisters and brother started toting home new music like Pearl Jam, Stone Temple Pilots, and Candlebox. This was much cooler, and unfortunately much heavier, and thus deemed inappropriate for my young ears. I was limited to dance music for the next several years, and so Haddaway, La Bouche, and Ace of Base were all I was allowed to experience for myself. Well they were a much cooler alternative than my mom's collection of Celine Dion, Gloria Estafan, and Lee Greenwood (that's right, the "God Bless the USA" guy, my brother made fun of me for listening to it, in a very patriotic fashion.). Then in the 5th grade I declared that I hated music and that it gave me a headache. No surprise, considering the options. Still, I would occasionally get a sneak listen in my brother or sister's cars or while they were in there rooms. Despite their attempts to keep me hard rock free, I quickly went back to the music I always loved when I was old enough to rebel a little.

I don't really remember a specific time when I heard Candlebox, I just remember wanting to listen to that "maybe" song. As time went by and napster made music more easily accessible, I soon downloaded Far Behind, and for whatever reason it just always reminded me of my siblings. They all listened to it and because of that it was part of my childhood, whether they wanted it to be or not. With all of them being at least five years older than me I guess they also, always left me far behind. Wow, that was lame.

Far Behind is one of those songs that has such a touching and dramatic theme to it, that even if it isn't something you can relate to, you're still drawn into it. Like Legends of the Fall, a sad bit of entertainment that you just can't stop watching. That's how the lyrics are for me, but again they don't leave me feeling sad because the song is very nostalgic for me, but still the song makes you feel something. That something, whatever it is, is awesome.

Now maybe
I didn't mean to treat you bad
But I did it anyway
And now maybe
Some would say your life was sad
But you lived it anyway
And so maybe
Your friends they stand around they watch your crumble
As you falter to the ground
And then someday
Your friends they stand beside as you were flying
Oh you were flying oh so high

But then someday people look at you for what they call their own
They watch you suffer
Yeah they hear you calling home
But then some day we could take our time
To brush the leaves aside so you can reach us
But you left me far behind
Now maybe
I didn't mean to treat you oh so bad
But I did it anyway
Now maybe some would say you're left with what you had
But you couldn't share the pain

No, no, no
Couldn't share the pain, they watch you suffer

Now maybe I could have made my own mistakes
But I live with what I've known
And then maybe we might share in something great
But won't you look at where we've grown
Won't you look at where we've gone
But then someday comes tomorrow holds a sense of what I feel for you in my mind
As you trip the final line
And that cold day when you lost control
Shame you left my life so soon you should have told me
But you left me far behind
Now maybe I didn't mean to treat you oh so bad
But I did it anyway
Now maybe some would say you're left with what you had
But you couldn't share the pain
No, no, no

Oh no
Oh no no no no...
Now maybe I didn't mean to treat you oh so bad
But I did it anyway
Now maybe some would say you're left with what you had
But you couldn't share the pain
I said times have changed your friends
They come and watch you crumble to the ground
They watch you suffer
Yeah, they hold you down
Hold you down
Now maybe brother, maybe love
I didn't mean to treat you bad
But you left me far behind
Left me far behind
Left me far Behind

Let It Go

Song: Let It Go
Artist: Blue October
Album: Foiled
Released: April 2006

Ah, sadness why does it sound so good? Probably because Blue October is singing it. Let it go is, to me anyway, a song about regret. It might be the only way I have seen regret portrayed beautifully. This is the first song on this list that I have changed. I originally had "Hate Me" (also by Blue October) in this spot, but I think I had it there mainly because I overplay "Let It Go". I have always liked "Let It Go" more than "Hate Me", so it made sense to fix this list even though it isn't on the cd set I burned to accommodate my top 100. Again, there's the reason I called it an attempt.

"Let It Go", begins with a guitar and violin softly setting the back drop for our regret soaked, sad song. The song progresses with awesome subtlties such as the violin being strummed like a mandolin, that crescendos into the first verse and remains throughout the song, and the clang of an electric guitar throughout this primarily acoustic song. A piano accents the chorus, which effectively drives you to feel the deep level emotion of the song. The lyrics of the second verse take the feeling to a whole new place at "follow me home, through the maze and on. I'll show you the road that I led you the wrong way on". How many of us can remember a time when we led someone we hold dear into a place they never should have been? If you can't, when you listen to this song, you'll almost wish you had, just so you can relate to the beauty of the song. The song again escalates with the second chorus, Furstenfeld adds anger through a growl as he sings, "Why did I go that way?", then an honest yearning for truth as he softens on "Why do I steal?" and finally complete sadness as he simply asks himself "Why?". Let It Go soars on from this point, on the notes of a harmonica, whose melody is carried on by the violin to its conclusion, while being infused with Furstenfeld's angry, regretful, and self-incriminating questions.

The song is important to me for a number of reasons, it is beautifully written, and played, and it is way fun to sing. But mainly because it reminds me of a harder time, when my wife and I were first married. That sounds strange, I know.We had an enormous struggle, and I would listen to it and ask myself all of these questions; I would ask myself "why?" and I would feel guilty, but somehow confronting those questions made me search for answers, and that helped. As we worked through things the song took on a different meaning, now it serves as a reminder of how close I came to really letting her go, and now I ask myself "how could I let her go?" as in "how could I" have ever felt the way I did, to make me feel like I was "stealing" from her. It reminds me not to take anything for granted, and that as a human, I am subject harm if I put myself in harm's way. I apologize for all of the vagueness, but the subject is too personal to be very specific about. Let It Go reminds me of how close I came to losing everything that I hold dear, and the joy that came from overcoming my own weakness.

Where do you go
When the day is long
And where does your heart beat
And who is wrong

Why do I feel this way
Why do I kneel
How could I let it go
Why do I feel
Why do I feel
Why

Follow me home
Through the, the maze and on
I'll show you the road
That I led you the wrong way on

Why did I go that way
Why do I steal
How could I let her go
Why do I feel

Oh why did I go that way
Why do I steal
How could I let her go
Why do I feel
Why do I feel
Why

Why
Why did I go that way
Why do I need
How could I let her go
Why do I feel

Oh why did I go that way
How could I steal
Oh how could I
How could I
How could I

How could I
How could I