Your Disease

Song: Your Disease
Artist: Saliva
Album: Every Six Seconds
Released: March 2001

Say what you like about rap-rock/metal, but this song is a classic. Sure it isn't a genre that we will look back on and say, "wow, music was at the top of its game back then". The genre as a whole is probably as opposite of timeless as you can get, and bands that were part of it, that still record music, have put forth great effort to remove themselves from it. Linkin Park is probably the only relevant band still standing that does anything of the sort, but even then it is so far removed from what I would deem as rap-rock/metal that it hardly counts. Mostly they have rap songs on rock albums. Still it remains a part of rock history and while I didn't really subscribe to a lot of it I was a fan of a small multitude of songs of the genre. In my opinion it was showcased best by Saliva, and there best was Your Disease. Some would say Rage Against the Machine or Limp Bizkit, and while the musicianship of Rage is probably better Zach De La Rocha (Rage Against the Machine vocalist) cannot sing, while Josey Scott (Saliva lead singer) can; and Limp Bizkit, is.... well there's not much to say is there? Plus I think Saliva has deeper rock roots than any of their contemporaries and that is more appealing to me personally.

If I had to sum this song up in two words, they would be epic "huah". "Huahs" are a great rock tool, but they don't find themselves in many rock songs these days, which is a pitty because they are so good for building energy and just adding to the overall coolness of the song. No "huah" was ever expressed better than Josey Scott's at the beginning of Your Disease. The verses may be rapped, but make no mistake this is purely a rock song. I have to admit that I never have paid much attention to the lyrics of this song, and I have never really tried to figure out any kind of meaning for it. I don't think will ever try, because I like it for what it is, a great rock song. I have selected it as the opening song for several compilation cd's that I intend to start a road trip off with or that I will listen to while exercising. It just has an energy to it that just makes you want to move to the music, or get up and do something. It's a very empowering song, and it's also a great celebration song. Celebration, that is the reason it makes my top 100.

Those of you who know me, know that I love football. Since I was 5 years old and my brother introduced me to the sport through the video game Tecmo Bowl, I have loved the sport in a manner that borders on worship. And so it was my luck to play on a team that never won a game in middle school, or on varsity through the first three years of high school. We won a couple games on JV my sophmore year, but I didn't count those because I was starting on Varsity by that point. Now this tradition of losing on varsity was one that dated back 5 years. So as fate would have it in my senior year the first week of the season was scheduled to be our homecoming night, which we felt did not bode well for a win, since our homecoming losing streak exceeded the length of our overall losing streak. For whatever reason whoever was in charge of our schedule felt that it would be a good idea if our most challenging game of the year, land on homecoming weekend. This particular year we were playing Dubois, a team none of us knew anything about and that our school had never played, that we could remember. So as far as we knew Dubois could be a contender for that state championship.

When Dubois took the field, we were delighted to see that they were actually our size. Almost every team we played in years past, and later that year, dwarfed us in size. We were not known for our physical size, but we played hard, it just usually wasn't enough to win. As the game began play we found that we were evenly matched but still we fell behind in the first half of the game, and much of the team began to feel that old "here we go again" sensation. There were those of us who refused to give up though, and while it was 12-0 in the second quarter we mounted a long scoring drive that closed out the quarter. Going into the second half we had momentum on our side, but that quickly went out the window when Dubois scored again, putting us at a 12 point deficit once more. Going into the 4th qtr. the score was 18-6 and Dubois was driving on us. Our defense forced a key turnover upon which we quickly scored. After kickoff our defense held strong forced a punt and then our offense made a long march down the field for a score. making the game 18-19. On Dubois' next possession, our defense forced another turnover, and on our first play on that series we scored on a reverse pass. To put the game farther out of reach we went for two and scored, making the game a two possession game. Dubois 18, My team 27. There was two minutes left, and all we needed to do was hold on defense. After allowing one more first down, we forced them out, giving us the schools first varsity win in over 5 years. It was one of the most glorious moments of my life. We celebrated like we had never won before, well because we never really had. In preparation for this moment we had high jacked one of my friends' home stereo systems so that we could fill the whole room with sound. I was one of the last to leave the field, and as I came to the locker room door I could hear Your Disease starting to play. As I opened the door Josey Scott wailed "Huah!" and the room filled with the blast of the guitars, screams, and tears of celebration. Pure Glory. It was a night I will never forget, and Your Disease has frozen that in time for me.


In one moment I'm goin' all the way
I make my poetry everyday
And I'm frozen comin' right on time
I froze my mind with that serious rhyme

And I'm open comin' up inside
You know, my mind has got a grand design
And I'm flowin', goin' all the way
I make my point to be everyday, come on

And I wanna take you down but your soul cannot be found
It doesn't matter much you see 'cause your disease is killin' me
And you know it's only right 'cause it feels like paradise
And I know nothin' is for free 'cause your disease is killin' me

My mind's broken, I'm goin' up in smoke
If you breathe my toke I'm guaranteein' you choke
And I'm chosen to testify the masses
Wear dark glasses like the cops in Texas

All knowin' it's not a premonition
Kill the competition like a man on a mission
I'm blowin', comin' up inside like the Bee Gees cry
I'm just stayin' alive, come on

And I wanna take you down but your soul cannot be found
It doesn't matter much you see 'cause your disease is killin' me
And you know it's only right 'cause it feels like paradise
And I know nothin' is for free 'cause your disease is killin' me

So now I'm finally goin' down
Can I find my way back home?
Now there's no one else around
Can I find my way back home?

Will I ever see the light
Even though I'm fallin'?
(Will there ever be any peace for me)
Even though I'm falling

(Will there ever be any peace for me)
Even though I'm falling
(Will there ever be any peace for me)

And I wanna take you down but your soul cannot be found
It doesn't matter much you see 'cause your disease is killin' me
And you know it's only right 'cause it feels like paradise
And I know nothin' is for free 'cause your disease is killin' me

And I wanna take you down but your soul cannot be found
It doesn't matter much you see 'cause your disease is killin' me
And you know it's only right 'cause it feels like paradise
And I know nothin' is for free 'cause your disease is killin' me

Forever

Song: Forever
Artist: Red
Album: Innocence & Instinct (deluxe only)
Released: February 2009

 So, I forgot to mention in my last post that there is a video bar off to the right that has videos for the songs I am listing, and some other junk that youtube pulled up off the keywords I put in. The video for 18th floor balcony is a live performance that freaking rocks. So if you liked the song I recommend that one it's the one with the dude standing at a microphone. Unfortunately the real video for red didn't pull up, but you can listen to the song while you ponder the meaning of the album cover art, it is a sketch from Dante's Inferno I believe. If any of you have blogs and can tell me how to better control what videos, on the video bar, I'm all ears.

At any rate lets get to Forever by Red shall we. You can find the full lyrics at the bottom, I changed my mind on that one already. I first discovered Red when I went to see Breaking Benjamin and Three Days Grace in concert, and Red opened for them. I had no idea who they were and I was completely blown away by them, they were so goood live. I have a heightened respect for bands that can actually perform live especially singers who load their studio recordings with ridiculously high notes, and still pull it off live. Michael Barnes (lead singer) has got some pipes and it is doubly impressive when you consider that on the studio recordings the vocals are highly harmonized, echoed, and overdubbed. These recording techniques give the vocal a very crisp, and stylized sound. Its the reason you sound so much better when you sing in a group of people, the other voices hide any flaws in your singing. Listen closely to a Brittany Spears song sometime (or better yet a rapper trying to sing) you'll hear about sixteen other voice tracks in it, on nearly every note. Sure they're all probably her voice but you can make anyone sound good that way. When performing live the best you can do is add an echo to the mic. This is why I have so much love for Red, Barnes belts it out on every song and he executes in person as well as the studio makes him sound. The band matches Barnes, in the intensity they deliver on stage, very energetic and entertaining. A lot of rock musicians just kind of stand there and play the song, these guys are all over the place, the way you'd expect them to be at a show. If you have a chance to see them play, I recommend seeing them, you won't be disappointed.

Forever is a hard driving song that starts off with a bang, and quickly moves from verse to pre-chorus, to chorus, in the fashion of a sonic storm. The flow of the song is so fluid that it sucks you in and forces you to feel the music over the rise and fall of verse, pre-chorus (I believe there's a more technical word for that, but you get my drift), and chorus. It's a beautiful crescendo of feeling. While the music style is very aggressive, the lyrics are story of redemption and real change. You'll find in the posts to come that I am a sucker for songs of redemption, as I've found myself in need of it on many occasions. Jasen Rauch, the bands guitarist and main composer, sometimes struggles with trying so hard to say the right thing in the lyrics that he gets in the way of the integrity of the overall flow of the verse. He also tends to write heavy riffs just for the sake of being heavy. You don't see either flaw in Forever though. As I said the flow of the song is really well done, and it has a bit of a Breaking Benjamin feel in the lead guitar work. I'll also say if you want to hear what a distorted bass line should sound like, it's in this song.

Beyond the music, what really drew me into this song were the lyrics, I couldn't quite catch all of them on the first listen, so I went home looked them up and the listened to the song while reading. I like to do this when I find a new song because, you can get a better feel for the tone of the lyrics while listening to the vocal. As I read It reminded me of the renewed spirits I would see while serving a mission for the LDS church. A lot of people are turned off by Christian themes in their music, which I don't understand, because if I don't like the theme of the lyric I usually try to twist the meaning of the song to fit something I do like. I on the other hand embrace it so long as it is not preachy. Songs from the Christian perspective are very welcome to me, well because I'm a Christian. So however you feel about the LDS church it can't be argued that the work we did wasn't good. We fought alcoholism, drug addiction, infidelity, disloyalty, dishonesty, and helped breed forgiveness, tolerance, hope, and charity.  At any rate some of my greatest joys came from seeing people change their lives for the better while serving in the New England states. To see the change in their entire countenance was remarkable, and was a glory that cannot be described. As Ed Kowalczyck wrote "words are too feeble, they cannot contain". This joy that a person feels when they find themselves out of the pit they were stuck in is perfectly described in the chorus. Barnes sings of his interventionist thus but you chased me down and broke in, just when I was done believing, spun me 'round so close now, I can feel you breathe, the sunlight burns inside, and I feel so alive and, help me now, tell me how, how can this last forever? Having personally been on both sides of a similar fence I can identify with the gratitude he then expresses in the bridge which also is quite nice: you gave me so much more, than I could ever ask for, but I turned and followed, a road that left me hollow, and still you waited for me to come back home, you brought me home. I think it's something you can only really truly understand if you've been there. I think most of us have in one way or another, and whether you are crediting your intervention to Christ or to a dear friend or parent, it doesn't really matter. All that really matters, or at least all that I really care about is that it helps you feel that breath of fresh air.

Forever lyrics

I try to run, I try to hide from a voice I couldn't
satisfy
That was me, Always needing more
And letting go of all I had before
Cause it feels like the end
A wound that I can't mend
I just can't fight any longer
You waited 'til I sobered
You came when You knew that the game was over
I didn't even want to be found

But you chased me down and broke in just when
I was done believing
Spun me 'round so close now
I can feel you breathing
Sunlight burns inside and
I feel so alive and
Help me now, tell me how
How can this last forever, forever

I ignored the signs, opened every door
But I couldn't find what I searched for
I try to fight but I turn and run
Every move I make is the wrong one
You patiently waited for my next mistake
I know it won't be much longer
You waited 'til I sobered
You came when You knew that the game was over
I didn't even want to be found

But you chased me down and broke in just when
I was done believing
Spun me 'round so close now
I can feel you breathing
Sunlight burns inside and
I feel so alive and
Help me now, tell me how
How can this last forever

You gave me so much more
Than I could ever ask for
But I turned and followed
A Road that left me hollow
And still you waited for me to come back home
You brought me home....

But you chased me down and broke in just when
I was done believing
Spun me 'round so close now
I can feel you breathing
Sunlight burns inside and
I feel so alive and
Help me now, tell me how
How can this last forever, forever

P.S. don't forget to rate the song ;)

18th Floor Balcony

Song: 18th Floor Balcony
Artist: Blue October
Album: Foiled
Released: Spring 2006

Wow, I feel like I'm doing some kind of marketing gig for this song with as much Blue October stuff that I've been looking through in preparation for this post. The way I think I'm going to start these things off, is with the lyrics. Lyrics for me can make a mediocre song, from a purely musical stand point, into a classic if they're good enough. Just like a movie that wasn't acted or directed the best can be amazing if the storyline is strong enough, like Les Miserables, or Taken. So lets take a look at the lyrics shall we?

I close my eyes and I smile
Knowing that everything is alright
To the core
So close that door
Is this happening?

My breath is on your hair
I'm unaware
That you opened the blinds and let the city in
God, you held my hand
And we stand
Just taking in everything.

And I knew it from the start
So my arms are open wide
Your head is on my stomach
And we're, we're trying so hard not to fall asleep
But Here we are
On this 18th floor balcony...
We're both flying away.

So we talked about mom's and dad's
About family pasts
Just getting to know where we came from
Our hearts were on display
For all to see
I can't believe this is happening to me and,
I raised my hands as if to show you that I was yours
That I was so yours for the taking
I'm so yours for the taking and
That's when I felt the wind pick up
I grabbed the rail while choking up
These words to say and then you kissed me... here

And I knew it from the start
So My arms are open wide
Your head is on my stomach
And we're, we're trying so hard not to fall asleep
But Here we are
On this 18th floor balcony...
We're both flying away

And I'll try to sleep
To keep you in my dreams
'Till I can bring you home with me
I'll try to sleep
And when I do I'll keep you in my... dreams

And I knew it from the start
So my arms are open wide
And your head is on my stomach
And we're, we're trying so hard not to fall asleep
So here we are
On this 18th floor balcony...

Yeah
And I knew it from the start
So my arms are open wide
Your head is on my stomach
No... We're not going to sleep, sleep
Here we are
On this 18th floor baclony...
We're both flying away.

Mushy, mushy love stuff huh? I agree, but that's the reason it makes my 100. I first discovered this song while I was first falling for my wife. Justin Furstenfeld (lead singer and chief song writer) wrote some pretty brilliant stuff all over this album, and 18th floor balcony is no exception. He's a master of his craft, you can tell the lyrics are very personal here, but they're not so personal as to exclude the listener. He's telling a story about a very intimate moment without kicking you out and making you feel like your simply observing. The lyrics are broad enough that it can be anyone's story, with the exception of it taking place on an 18th floor balcony, but so what it could be a 10th, 7th, or as it was for me, a 3rd floor balcony. Furstenfeld uses an open writing approach, and what I mean by this, is he doesn't have a set pattern for his rhyming. It's pretty tricky to write a catchy tune without some fluid rhyming, in opinion. In fact he doesn't rhyme at all in the chorus, but he sings it so well you don't really even notice its differences from so many other love songs out there.

For me though, it's that the lyrics fit an experience I had so well. When I first started dating my wife, we hit it off quickly. We went on 4 dates in the week following our very first day. What can I say, after the second date I didn't want to leave without getting her to commit to see me again. Within about two weeks I was thinking "this could go places", and it was at this time that she was visiting me at my apt. which was on the third floor where I had a small balcony. We watched Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, and then stayed up talking about moms and dads, about family pasts, just getting to know where we came from. I think its when you get to this point in a relationship that you start getting the butterflies, and you become truly interested in the other person. You can't get enough of them and so you must know more, you must delve into their past, their childhood, their family and their pasts. You become so attached, you don't want to go home, or to be apart at all. After talking for a bit, it was getting close to midnight, which was just the respectful time to have her get back home. My wife was home from college for the summer, and while she didn't have a curfew we wanted to be respectful of her parent's schedule, ha ha that didn't actually happen often. So it didn't happen on this night, instead of saying goodbye we decided to go out on to the balcony and see if we could spot some stars. I was at the point where I wanted to make things exclusive between us and so like the experienced salesman that I am I thought I would try to heighten the level of romance before going in for the close. We talked more and I slowly worked my way to speaking in a way as if to show her that I was hers I was so hers for the taking. Unlike the song she didn't kiss me right on the spot, the equivalent of a handshake, affirming that we had a romantic accord for exclusive dating. Nope, she kept me hanging on the hook. All the same, she knew my feelings, I was out there and fortunately it only took a few more days for her to come 'round to agreeing to the idea. Fortunately, because I get quite anxious in these situations, when I really like something I can't think about much else, until I find a way to get what I want. 

The rest of the song just generally reminds me of our time dating. It seemed that every night we saw each other, which was pretty much every night since then, we stayed up to where we had fight sleep with everything we had. We even fell asleep on her parents couch on several occasions, woke up and continued to talk or do whatever else we might have been doing. The cut off time for a date went from around midnight to 2-3:30 am. The part of the song that really seals the deal for me, though, is the bridge; And I'll try to sleep, To keep you in my dreams, 'Till I can bring you home with me, I'll try to sleep, And when I do I'll keep you in my... dreams. When I'd finally get home, this is exactly what I'd think and the song really picks up musically at this part. After Furstenfeld sings these lines (he does a remarkable job of holding the last note on dreams in a soft way like a Sinatra, or Louis Armstrong) Ryan Delahoussaye opens up with a violin solo that lights up the whole room. Listen to the song on head phones or in a room alone, let it have your full attention, and this solo will fill you with a feeling like all is right with the world. The way you feel when you're with that person you adore, and you're both flying away...good stuff.

So why is a song that takes me back to the golden days of young love ranked lowest on my list? Well because there are others, but mainly because my wife doesn't really like it that much, and that affects how I feel about it a little. Well son of a b, but what are you going to do. But you know what's interesting about the speed of our dating is that we were both coming out of long, and very serious relationships, that both ended quite badly, but more on that later :)

Well This Is Mah Blawg

Alrighty! This is my attempt at narrowing a set list down to my top 100 songs. Now I am not saying this is "the" top 100 song list of all time. Rather it is my top 100, the songs that I most enjoy listening to, the songs that have affected me the most.

When I decided to embark on this undertaking I knew it would a long and painful experience, and that's why I call it an attempt. Indeed it was. I'm sure I have missed some songs, and I have most likely grossly miss-ranked some, and as I examine it further I will no doubt kick myself and wish I could change it. I know that, because that's what happens nearly every time I make a list like this, ha ha. That's ok though, because these songs are excellent. At least they are to me. Each one has a story behind it, in the lyrics, the music, and how it has affected me in my life. In this blog I will be critiquing each song, and explaining just what it means to me and why it qualified for my list. There are scores of songs that I would consider top 100 songs of all time that aren't on this list. For example, there is not a single Beatles, Rollingstones, Elvis, Sinatra, Michael Jackson, or Mariah Carey song on this list. In fact you won't even find a song that predates 1989. As I said before, that's not what this is about. This list is my favorites list, so there you have it, fair warning.

I often tell people, that I meet, that I am a fairly hard person to get to know. I just wasn't born with the ability to open up to people right from the get go, with a few exceptions. I don't think I'm hard to talk to, but it will take a person that I associate with regularly, a good long while to truly get to know me. I have been married for over 4 years and I think I am just now starting to feel like my in laws are really getting to know the real me. For me music is an emotional experience, not bawl your eyes out emotional (although songs can cause a little mistiness), just emotional. You know, joy, peace, anger, sorrow, happiness, triumph, or redemption. It is through these songs that I can detail many of the major events of my life, so far anyway. At any rate I'll be counting this down from 100 in the typical vh1 formula.

So here's the criteria I based these rankings on: lyric quality, music quality, and whether the song means something to me or not. The last is probably the biggest thing for me, where and why does it connect. Well it is late and I'm beginning to ramble so, I hope you enjoy reading, and most importantly listening to the music. And now introducing to you song 100...18th Floor Balcony by Blue October!